by on May 10, 2015
Beauty and the Beast Parody

This is part of the script of a musical which remained unfinished. It was a parody of Beauty and the Beast with the characters being combined and gender-swapped. The main characters were Gala and Ben. Gala was a combination of Gaston and Adam (the beast prince). Ben is a combination of Belle and Maurice. Pepe, Gala's assistant, is based on LeFou and named as a reference to Pepe LePhew.

The story goes that a beast was spotted near a village and everyone got scared. Some hunters tried to kill it but the beast chased them away. The villagers became too scared to enter the forest to hunt and gather, though that was their primary form of sustenance. Soon after, a mysterious girl called Gala showed up and could easily go hunting. The rumor went around that the rough yet beautiful Gala had somehow befriended the beast.

Gala took a liking to Ben, a handsome inventor who's creations blew up more often than not, causing the villagers to think he's crazy. Ben doesn't like Gala because she believes herself to be superior to everyone, so he refuses her gifts. The villagers are afraid Ben will anger Gala and she'll stop providing for them, or lead the beast to the village in vengeance, so they refuse to sell to him.

As a result, Ben has to fend for himself, hunting and gathering in the forest. The beast saves him from wolves and he tries to talk to it, noting that it has human-looking eyes. To his surprise, the beast sticks around to listen, but doesn't respond. This continues to happen until the beast gets to know Ben well enough to like him for reasons other than because he's handsome.

Ben and Gala run into each other, but Gala knows how annoying Ben finds her because of what he told the beast and now that she genuinely likes him, she doesn't want to bother him or make him dislike her more. Thus Gala generally stays out of Ben's way, which eventually causes him to ask if she's ok, because she seemed lost in thought and quiet lately. Gala is surprised that Ben is concerned and tells him so, he admits that it is true that he didn't like her egotistical attitude, but he doesn't hate her and offers to listen and help any way he can. Gala says she'll keep that in mind and they become friends.

Later, when Ben becomes discouraged with his inventions and everyone is saying that he's handsome but insane, Gala tells them off and the villagers leave them alone. She encourages Ben by reminding him of his reason for inventing: to make people's lives easier. Ben is so happy and surprised that Gala has actually begun to value his efforts in inventing, that he doesn't realize that she quoted something he had told the beast. The two continue becoming closer as friends.

One day Ben receives an invitation to be the date of princess Rose at a royal ball, where people say a powerful wizard has been summoned to be among the guests. The temperamental princess had been out of the public eye for the last few years and rumors flew that she was breaking the silence to announce her engagement. Ben didn't attend despite everyone fearing the princess' wrath if her order was not followed.

The villagers chase Ben out into the forest to be devoured by wolves or the beast, in hopes of appeasing the princess by sending word of what they've done in the name of her vengeance. Gala, who had been inexplicably absent for the last few days, returns looking for Ben. She gets angry upon hearing what the villagers have done, transforms into the beast and rushes into the forest to find Ben.

Fortunately, Ben had been smart enough to avoid the predators in the forest despite being unarmed and is found by the beast. Happy to see his friend, Ben tells the beast of his troubles, of the princess' rumored wrath and the reason why he refused the invitation. He didn't want to date Rose because he was in love with Gala. Shocked by the revelation, the beast transforms into Gala and explains that she was cursed to turn into a beast.

Though she is able to control the transformation, turning into a beast or human at will, if she becomes too enraged, she gets stuck in beast form until she can somewhat calm down. It was difficult to remain in human form at first and she was stuck as a beast for months. She slowly gained control, though it had been difficult until she became friends with Ben, as he helped her relax.

Gala explains that the wizard who cursed her said the curse would turn into a blessing if she learned to love and was loved in return, but that she'd understand if Ben changed his mind about her knowing that she turns into a hideous beast. Ben tells her it doesn't change anything and they kiss.

The wizard arrives, revealing that he had been secretly following Gala and finally caught up with her. Gala introduces him to Ben, whom she had apparently mentioned to him before. She reveals that she is princess Rose and the purpose of the ball was confessing her love to Ben and convincing the wizard to remove her curse. The wizard then reveals that he did not curse Rose, he only gave her advice.

The beast transformation is a natural occurrence in the royal bloodline with the ability initially manifesting upon reaching adulthood. The king had always told Gala that if she continued being ill tempered she would turn into a beast, but she thought it was a metaphor. Ben encourages Rose to stay in control of her power and use it to protect her people, thus turning it into a blessing as the wizard said.

Later, the villagers talk about how Gala turned out to be the beast and how she and Ben disappeared while they prepare to receive a visit from the newly crowned king and queen. They had not heard news of the princess since the ball, and had no idea who her husband could be. In the final scene, Queen Rose and King Ben arrive at the village, to the shock and fearful apologies of the villagers.

That's how the story goes, but the whole thing was to be told in lyrics I was writing with melodies from Disney songs. I never got around to finishing this and probably never will, but here's what I had so far.

The curtain opens to an explosion with a smoke effect from the left of the stage, where there is a house's door. Ben exits, coughing from the smoke, blueprints in hand.

(To the tune of Belle aka Little Town aka Bonjour)

"There go my chances at becoming famous,
A good invention down the drain.
I must not give up,
I will get it right next time,
There must be more than this to my life!"

Ben walks to the center of the stage where the town square is, with houses in the background. He sits on a bench to study the blueprints. Three women enter the stage from the left and start gossiping at the square.

(To the tune of the triplets' part.)

Woman 1:
"Look there he goes,
That odd ball Ben."

Woman 2:
"He's got good looks, but he's insane.
There are more important things to say."

(To the tune of Belle.)

Woman 1:
"I heard the princess hasn't found a suitor,
And from what I understand,
She might marry a man,
Who was born in this land..."

Woman 3:
"And that man may be my son!"

Woman 2:
"Oh, I don't think so,
It will be my brother,
He is the pride of the town!"

Woman 3:
"You mean he used to be,
Until here arrived she..."

Ben gets up from the bench, unable to concentrate with all the noise.

"There must be more than gossip to life!"

Gala enters the stage from the right where the town's outskirts lead into a forest. The song ends as Ben leaves the square and sits in front of his house. Gala glares at the women, she growls and they run away in fright.

Pepe enters the stage from the left and joins Gala at the square in time to see the women run off.

Pepe (unsure): "Maybe you were too harsh on them, Gala."

Gala (harsh): "Shut up, Pepe!"

Pepe: (cringing and raising his arms in defense): "You're not going to find a husband if you're not friendly."

Gala (sarcastic): "I don't see you getting engaged, dear cousin."

Pepe (sighs and grumbles): "Uncle's got me too busy babysitting you for me to have time for girls."

Gala (snaps): "What was that?"

Pepe (backs away): "Nothing!"

Pepe (after waiting a moment, cautiously): "Maybe you should move on to the next town. The effect of your arrival has... changed."

(To the tune of Gaston.)

"When the beast appeared,
No one dared to hunt,
For the beast was fierce like a hundred men.

Yet there came a maiden,
Whose beauty was beyond compare,
She brought food back to the village,
And gave all the men a good scare!

For she dared to hunt and brought back her prey,
She brought enough meat to feed us for days.

Three cheers for the fearless Gala,
She is so pretty and brave,
It's a pity that she's so unfriendly,
And makes everyone run away!"

Four men enter the stage from the right.

(To the tune of Gaston.)

Man 1:
"No one knows the truth,
But they all suspect,
That in the beast she found a friend."

Man 2:
"It's the only explanation,
To her peculiar nature."

Man 3:
"She's rough, wild and unruly,
But I have to admit she's a beauty."

Man 4:
"She may be the town's heroine,
But the oddball's heart she may never win."

"She's our Valkyrie from Valhalla,
Three cheers for the fearless Gala!"

Gala pushes past the men at the town square as the music ends and walks over to Ben with Pepe and the men a few steps behind.

Gala (takes his blueprint crumples it in a ball and throws it):
"Today is your lucky day!"

Ben (annoyed, picks up the blueprint and tries to smooth the paper): "I doubt that."

Gala (laughs vainly): "Oh but it is, because today is the day you and I start to plan our wedding!"

Ben (nervously): "Wedding?"

Gala (sits on his lap and wraps her arms around him): "That's right, I'll grant you the honor of becoming my husband!"

Ben (horrified): "I... I don't deserve you!" (Throws Gala off and locks himself in the house.)

Pepe (trying not to laugh): "That didn't go as planned, did it?"

Gala: (picks herself up and growls)

Man 1: "Don't make her mad, she'll seek the beast on the town!"

All the men and Pepe run away and exit the stage to the left.

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